


Event of the Millenium

by Storygirl000



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: (looks at all the fandoms brought in) I aaaaaain't tagging that shit!, Crack, Crossover, Gen, parody of salt, some salt???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:00:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24915772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storygirl000/pseuds/Storygirl000
Summary: Lila isn’t invited to Marinette’s party, but she doesn’t care. After all, it’s likely to be super boring anyways.Right?
Comments: 23
Kudos: 209





	Event of the Millenium

**Author's Note:**

> Because a number of salt fics seem to feature Marinette throwing a party that everyone wants to attend.
> 
> And by everyone, I mean EVERYONE.

“...and that’s how I saved the President from the ninja army!”

Lila concluded her latest tall tale for the class. Predictably, everyone applauded her; also predictably, she didn’t notice that the applause was sarcastic, and that Nathaniel was blatantly plagiarizing her story for his and Marc’s latest comic.

Ms. Bustier gave a strained smile. “That’s...wonderful, Lila. Now, does anyone else have any news they want to share?”

Marinette raised her hand. “I do!”

She stood up, holding a stack of pretty pink pieces of paper.

“My birthday’s coming up, and I’m hoping to invite all of you!” she said. “It’s gonna be so much fun!”

Lila snorted. “Oh, please, a Dupain-Cheng party? How fun can that possibly be?”

Marinette frowned. “I’m so sorry, Lila, but my parents said you can’t come. After that...unpleasantness in the bakery, they’ve banned you from the premises.”

“Like I would want to go anyways!” Lila scoffed.

As she watched Marinette hand the invitations out to everyone else, she made plans in her mind to swing by the party and see how pathetic it really was.

00000

The party fell on a Saturday at 3 o’clock sharp, at a large park close to the Dupain-Cheng bakery. Lila was expecting to see a couple tables, maybe a few decorations, that was it.

What she saw made her jaw drop.

The park had been set up like a carnival. There were vendors handing out different kinds of food, several rides (including a ferris wheel, a carousel, and a freaking  _ rollercoaster _ ), and in the center of it all was a massive table with so many balloons attached that it was a miracle it wasn’t floating away.

“Oh, hi Lila!”

Startled, Lila turned to see Marinette herself standing nearby, giving a cheerful smile.

“Dupain-Cheng, what is this?” she finally managed to croak out.

Marinette shrugged. “Never underestimate a pair of blonde rich kids, one of whom has ample blackmail material on his dad. I tried to tell them to tone it down, but they wouldn’t listen.”

Adrien and Chloe. Of course.

Before Lila could say anything, Marinette squealed. “Oh, the guests are arriving!”

As Lila watched, various kids and teachers from school – including Bustier’s class – filed in. Adrien was the last, and he and Marinette gave each other a quick kiss before he headed in.

Lila scoffed. “All that work for so few people? Why-”

“Marinette!”

Three elderly people walked up to Marinette; one an attractive silver-haired woman, one a crotchety old man, and the last a Chinese man that Lila found vaguely familiar.

Wait...

That was  _ Wang Cheng, _ world-famous Chinese chef. What was  _ he _ doing here?

Marinette smiled. “Oh, Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Cheng! So glad you could show up!”

Lila choked.  _ Uncle _ Cheng?!

The four of them exchanged greetings, and the three older people went inside, leaving Marinette and Lila once again.

Lila gave her a look. “What-”

“Heyyyyyyy, my favorite designer! Long time no see!”

Lila’s jaw dropped again.

_ Jagged fucking Stone _ was walking up to Marinette. And both his assistant and Clara Nightingale were right behind him.

“Hey, you guys!” Marinette said.

Lila’s mind shut down for a few moments, so she didn’t pay attention to the conversation between the four (or Jagged threatening to sue her ass off). Only when the three of them left did Lila finally speak to Marinette again.

“H...how do you know them?” she squeaked out.

“I helped them with stuff in the past,” she replied. “No big deal.”

_ How did she not think this was a big deal?! _

Lila could only watch in disbelief as more musicians filed in – Austin Moon and Ally Dawson, Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, Sex Bob-Omb, Envy Adams, and Josie and the Pussycats, among others. All of them greeted Marinette with some degree of familiarity.

“...h-how?” Lila managed to squeak out.

Marinette shrugged. “Positive word of mouth, mostly. I launched my fashion website, Jagged praised it to the high heavens, and suddenly I was getting acquainted with a bunch of other celebrities.”

So Marinette was supernaturally charismatic. Great.

“Yo, Mari!”

Lila turned to see what famous people Marinette had befriended this time.

Surprisingly, this group seemed to be somewhat normal compared to the others. Just nine teenagers, probably from another coun- wait, that was Actual Superhero Ben Tennyson in the front of the group. And she was pretty sure she’d seen the practically-anorexic girl with long orange hair on TV.

Never mind, then.

Marinette, meanwhile, was grinning from ear-to-ear. “You guys actually came!”

One of the teens – a short boy with curly black hair wearing a pink jacket – smiled. “Of course we did!”

“Besides,” another teen – a girl with long blonde hair and heart-shaped marks on her cheeks – said, grinning, “we’d never miss out on one of your parties!”

Laughing, Marinette let them all in.

Lila opened her mouth to speak, but Marinette shot her a look. “For the record, you don’t get to know how I befriended them.”

“Ah, Marinette! How’s one of my favorite kids doing?”

And now Lila had officially lost count of how many famous people Marinette knew.

Walking up to the party were none other than Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne, followed by an exasperated Alfred and Pepper Potts and the many kids they’d adopted/taken on as wards/whatever.

Tony was the one who said the line, prompting Bruce to glare at him. “She’s not your kid, Stark.”

“She’s neither of your kids,” Pepper groaned, massaging her temples. “She has living parents, remember?”

Before Tony and Bruce could protest, each of them was shoved in by their assistants. Their kids followed, but two of them – a tall boy with black hair with a white shock in it and a darker-skinned girl with curly brown hair – lingered behind.

Marinette sighed. “They’re still at it?”

“Yep,” the boy said, grinning.

“Any idea when they’ll  _ stop _ being at it?”

“Probably never,” the girl snarked. “You’re winning the betting pool, at least.”

“Great.”

With that, the two of them headed in, and Marinette remembered that Lila was still there. She shrugged. “Yeah, they’re fighting over the right to adopt me. Don’t ask.”

Lila didn’t ask. She was too numb to do much but stare at this point.

Could this get any more ridiculous?

As if to answer her question, the sky split open and the heavens sang from above.

Descending from the sky was a giant majestic white llama...thing. Following it – and shrinking down alongside it if needed, because otherwise they would’ve destroyed Paris on landing – were a number of other fantastic animals.

_ BEHOLD, _ the majestic llama boomed.  _ I, ARCEUS, HAVE CROSSED THE SPACE-TIME BORDER SEPARATING OUR DIMENSIONS TO ATTEND THIS PARTY. _

“Wh-what?!” Lila stammered. “Why?!”

_ BECAUSE THE AUTHOR, UNLIKE  _ SOME _ PEOPLE, DOES NOT FEEL LIKE INSERTING REAL LIFE RELIGIOUS FIGURES OF ANY KIND INTO THIS FIC, _ Arceus replied.  _ BESIDES, MARINETTE’S PARTIES ARE TIGHT AS FUCK, DAWG. _

Lila didn’t know what was worse – that Marinette had gods at her command, or that one of those gods just tried to use slang.

The various Pokemon deities entered, and Marinette started looking around.

“Is that everyone?” Lila croaked out.

Marinette frowned. “We’re still missing one more person...”

“Hey! Sorry I’m late!”

Contrary to Lila’s expectations, this new person seemed...almost normal. She was a young woman with brown hair and glasses, dressed in a red tank top, four-button shorts, and black sandals. Nonetheless, the liar felt intimidated by her very presence – like she could kill her off with a wave of her hand.

The girl turned to Lila and grinned. “Before you ask, I’m the author of this story, and I’m just here for the free shit.” Her eyes glazed over, and she drooled a little. “And the boys...”

“For the record, Luka still has that restraining order on you,” Marinette said flatly.

“Dammit. I’ll see if I can get with Ben then.”

She ran inside, laughing.

Marinette sighed and made to chase after her, but turned to Lila first. “See you Monday!”

With that, she ran into the party, leaving Lila too stunned to do anything.

Except scream in frustration, of course.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: that scene with the nine various teenagers led by one Ben Tennyson? That's a reference to my longest (and long-dead) fic on this site, "Welcome To the Party Line!" (which I miiiiight be considering rebooting...).


End file.
